Timperley put to the sword in feisty affair

The day was Saturday the 7th of October, White vs Blue, the classic game of the mighty Brooklands who faced an inform Timperley side who had won both their games the two previous weeks. Pete ‘PowerPoint’ Mulford set out the team as usual to embark on the quest to three points. The team talk this week did not consist of the gladiator analogy, but the talking point was the kiss lip grip that Steve ‘Milk Carton’ Murray asks Leo ‘my sister plays for GB’ Watton to place on the infamous stick. If only the grip could work wonders!

Mind games started in the warm up with two sets of songs being played by each other’s team. Matt Lakin-Hall had replaced "the legend" DJ Prentice and took control of the age old 2009 Phillips speaker. Push back came and the best player on the pitch was on the bench, Lionel Messi style. But he would not be deterred as Paul ‘Gammo’ Gannon gave him the call 6 minutes in. Brooklands did not take a long time to get on the score sheet with Joe ‘happy man’ Hillier caressing the ball into the bottom corner to score his first Brooklands goal. Brooklands were rewarded with a penalty stroke shortly after. With calls from the fans to give the ball to Jimmy ‘Ginger’ Gardiner, the calls were turned down and happy Hillier smacked the right post. Still 1-0. Timperley had a little resurgence and peppered the Brooklands goal but Jacob Van der Weerden-Bentum held strong.

A penalty corner for Brooklands presented itself, a chance to score. But wait no Darias Virabi, who is been said to be the best player in the world on his day, or is it Brad King?.. A debate for decades to come. I guess Hillier will have to do and he delivers a flow flick to the left for Lakin-Hall to convert on the 30th minute to make it 2-0 to go into the break.

Half time came and went and to DJ prentices annoyance who complained that he only had 30 seconds of pitch time at the end of the first half. He was quickly calmed by the young but vastly experienced Mr Gardiner who assured him it is a team game and that his Stone Island Jackets were safe at home. The 50th minute came and so did Brooklands 3rd, with a beauty of a ball from Ollie ‘Cuttlefish’ Cuttle, which was fainted and let though by Jimmy ‘Sin Bin’ Gardiner for Kav ‘The Goal Machine’ Jabaal to slot home.

The smallest man on the pitch Adam ‘Hardman’ Simpson got into yet another fight with a 30-year-old man, which was backed up by DJ Prentice who said the classic phrase, "Pick on someone your own age".

Tom Lush Lushington and his new side kick in the making ‘TOM RUSSELL’ were on video duties on the make shift video tower, which is now a green container, which would not pass any safety regs even 30 years ago. Russell’s bobble hat was a questionable one, alongside Lush’s Gucci glasses. Chants of ‘POOOOOOTS’ came from the side line and the man himself delivers another great performance.

Standard solid games for little and large, Cuttle and Vincent, at the back supported by Nick ‘Fendog’ Fennell. Jimmy G was unstoppable as per usual and Steve Murray was truly inspirational. But is does not stop there, Robbie ‘Terrier’ Radcliffe made himself a nuisance up front and is powered off Southern courage by Magic Mulford. Tristin ‘Trigger’ Gilbody, blamed a card on his ‘slippy grip’ alongside Craig ‘I feel old’ Johnson who said do not mention my missed chance in the match report. Too late.

The 11th commandment "Thou shall beat Timperley" was achieved; a solid day at the office for the lads, except for Murray.