Harrogate 1s 0 – 1 Brooklands Poynton 2s

There are several reasons that lead me to conclude that I should arrange to stay with the opposition the night before every match. The first being that I wake up on time, eat a breakfast of kings and am not late for the game, the second being that I subsequently play like an ‘absolute hero’ (Smith, 2012), and not least because the rest of the team doesn’t have to put up with my terrible conversational skills on the way there.

But enough about me. The day was bright, we were missing a captain and a coach, but Stevie ‘Tony D’Amato’* Andrews stepped seamlessly into the breach, cracking the whip while we launched into our new warm-up routine, affectionately referred to as ‘dressage’. Amber ‘Sick Note’ Bryden had cried off again to enjoy her four-year anniversary but the Brooklands ladies stepped out on to the pitch undeterred, knowing that ‘stuff’ would hit the fan if we did not leave with three points in the bag. Not one of us was satisfied with the previous week’s performance, and we all knew what was needed to start closing the gap in the league and clawing our way up through the ranks.

Contrary to the weak start we made against Deeside (which you would know all about if Ellie had written her match report…), there was a real grit and determination in our performance from the off. Any apprehension about our new formation was quickly dispelled as we effortlessly clicked into place and worked hard for each other all over the pitch to make things happen. Before long we had secured the first of many short corners and with a full contingent, we were confident that we would convert. Harrogate’s number one runner was out like a rocket to our castle, but nothing short of a brick wall could have stopped Georgie’s strike. In a rather fortunate turn of events, the defender’s deflection actually resulted in a slow-motion lob over the keeper as the ball floated beautifully into the back of the net. 1-0.

The Harrogate ladies were understandably rattled by this, and continued to put up an excellent fight, but they simply just could not match us for pace, skill or commitment in any area of the pitch. Even when things began to get scrappy, the Brooklands girls held their own and rose above to secure a penalty stroke, for which the Bunny Boiler herself stepped up the mark. With a horde of opposition supporters baying both on the sideline and in the clubhouse directly behind the goal, it was unsurprising that the England youth keeper got a pad to the ball to deny us a 2-0 lead. For reasons unbeknownst to anyone, the stroke was reawarded, but the keeper had renewed confidence and proceeded to bat our second attempt to one side with ease. Shaken but not stirred, we maintained our composure to cruise into half time for a well-earned rest.

The second half continued much the same – no one left anything on the pitch, but the Harrogate ladies fought to the death, even managing to hit the post in the last few minutes in what was to be their only real shot of the game. BPHC 2s were not to be perturbed by this, but responded kindly by conceding a succession of short corners to make up for denying the opposition a chance to equalise. We’re thoughtful like that, you see. It was clear that the Harrogate ladies were really feeding off the crowd by this point, but it was too little too late as their desperate shots were no match for our well-drilled defence. So keen are our girls for this beautiful game that it has apparently become tradition to extend the game with an overtime corner. Always a crowd pleaser. To really give the crowd their money’s worth, the Hulk (who actually stayed relatively calm throughout the game with just the one yellow to speak of) decided to selflessly take one for the team and stop the straight strike with her kneecap. Whistle blows, game over, man down. It was all worth it and I can safely say that I’d do it every week if it meant coming away with the same result and sense of satisfaction that we all did. Cheese.

Man of the Match was fairly split in recognition of how every player really pulled it out of the bag, but the vote tipped in favour of Annika of Arc who captained us to victory and really led by example. Dick of the Day was unanimous once again for a variety of reasons, but I’m pretty sure that getting a straight yellow for taking out your best friend, particularly after she hosted you so kindly the night before, will take some beating all season.

*For those unfamiliar with yet another of my popular cultural references, please see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4tIrjBDkk. In fact, start watching it before every game - you won’t be disappointed.