BPHC 2s rack them up!

Any day that starts with the team’s self-appointed hard-nut crying at the sight of a tramp drinking Lambrini at 10:30 in the morning is always going to be a good one. Not to mention the fact that we were all on a real high following our first victory of the season the week before, and Lou had arrived with the customary cherry scone in hand. With four points from four games, we were as close to the bottom of the table as we’d ever been before, and that didn’t sit well with us at all. But in the words of Patrick Swayze, nobody puts BPHC in the corner. Something like that, anyway.

Last season’s encounters with Morpeth had been more than disappointing, with a 1-1 draw and more cards than Moonpig , followed by a crushing 3-2 loss away. This season, things were about to change. As our objective of securing a corner within the first five minutes had worked to maximum effect the week before, we sought to do the same again. Keen to make her first mark on the league scoreboard, the question running through newcomer Bionic Beth’s mind, however, was clearly ‘why settle for a corner when you can get a goal?’, and after some absolute gas down the right wing, a well-placed ball was slotted neatly into the bottom corner before Morpeth even knew what day it was. 1-0.

Determined to uphold our objective, some excellent tactical play in the D from the forward line secured our first short corner soon afterwards, which saw a textbook Katie Payne special deflect perfectly off Backwards Beth’s stick and into the top corner. 2-0. It would be unfair to both teams to suggest that Morpeth had lost some of their edge from last season, but it was quite clear that whatever spark we were lacking at the start of the season had now well and truly returned in abundance. The back line were adamant that our clean sheet would not be tarnished, and absorbed any potential threat that came into the 25. The midfield led hard and fast time and time again to provide solid outletting opportunities, and worked in teams both to maintain and win back every ball. The whole team were all over it like Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball, and an audible sigh of relief came from the opposition when the half-time whistle finally blew.

All that needed to be said at half time was to keep things simple and continue as we had been doing. We’d been in this position many a time before only to allow a momentary lapse in concentration to do us over, but we weren’t prepared to let that happen today. Not least because we had a lovely selection of DABs on the sideline and prospective newcomer Lindsay to impress. As if to prove to ourselves that we weren’t prepared to settle for anything but a resounding victory, more creative stickwork in the D won us a further short corner. Katie Payne never fails to disappoint, and this time El Capitano slotted home goal number three to seal the deal and re-assert her status as top goal scorer. With three independent names now on the score sheet, only one of which from an out-and-out forward, the pressure was on our other attackers to earn their bacon and rack up some much needed goal difference. Without implying that we’re all small, hard and dirty (for the most part), pressure is what turns a lump of coal into a diamond, and Cat and Linaker soon showed how priceless they were as they rammed home goals number four and five. With that, the final whistle blew and we had secured our second consecutive victory and clean sheet. Things are well and truly on the up for the BPHC ladies, and we’re not about to settle there. Five goals from five different players not only shows how much we love to share (some more than others!), but also highlights just how much of a threat we really are. Bring on Leeds Uni next week!

MOM went to Mel for providing an excellent impression of a brick wall around our D.

DOD went to Robbo for abandoning us the previous week to get her hair done, closely followed by Mel for the sentimental tramp incident, and because Robbo never remembers enough of the game to be able to write a match report.

More importantly, Binder and Ellie's birthday boat race was the true highlight of the day, with the fresher clocking in at 14.76 seconds to the graduate's 57.45. Disappointing to say the least!